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为泪水已干,但此时写信竟又泪水长流。如果再无眼泪,我的心都将破碎。
我经常午后到户外散步,不时听到画眉迎春的啼声从山谷深处飞出,但我已不再为它的啁啾之鸣心醉,因为我的心已经冰冷枯萎,就像你所说的那样,总有一天它会彻底冰凉。上帝原谅我如上所言,这确实情非得已。但你曾经是我拥有的一切,一想到要永远失去你,我就难以忍受,这也许是由于我的过错吧。有人去拜访你吗?任何你收到的信件都不要转给我。我希望你和你母亲(如果她乐意)去看看《奥赛罗》中的基恩先生和《村中恋情》中的斯蒂芬斯小姐。如果你们能去看,我就写信给T先生,请他给你们寄票。P先生见过你吗? 我想我也得寄票给他,感谢他把你的画像寄给了我,可以让我对着它亲吻和倾诉衷肠。吻我,我最心爱的人儿。啊! 即使我永远不能拥有你,也让我成为你骄傲和幸福的奴隶吧。
威廉·赫兹里特
1830年3月21日
William Hazlitt
To
Mar。 21st; 1803
Dear Sarah;
You will scold me for this; and ask me if this is keeping my promise to mind my work。 One half of it was to think of Sarah; and besides I do not neglect my work either; I assure you。 I regularly do ten pages a day; which mounts up to thirty guineas' worth a week; so that you see that I should grow rich at this rate; if I could keep on so; and I could keep on so; if I had you with me to encourage me with your sweet smiles; and share my lot。 The Berwick smack sails twice a week; and the wind sets fair。 When I think of the thousand endearing caresses that have passed between us; I do not wonder at the strong attachment that draws me to you; but I am very sorry for my own want of power to please。 I hear the wind sigh through the lattice and keep repeating over and over to myself two lines of Lord Byron's tragedy—
“So shalt thou find me ever at thy side;
威廉·赫兹里特致萨拉·沃克(2)
Here and hereafter; if the last may be。”
Applying them to thee; my love; and thinking whether I shall ever see thee again。 Perhaps not—for some years at least—till both thou and I are old —and then when all else has forsaken thee; I will creep to thee; and die in thine arms。
You once made me believe that I was not hated by her I loved; and for that sensation—so delicious was it; though but mockery and a drea
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