第84部分(第5/7 页)

sh　me　would；　I　begin　to　think；　be　almost　equivalent　to　mitting　suicide。　Moreover；　before　I　definitively　resolve　on　quitting　England；　I　will　know　for　certain　whether　I　cannot　be　of　greater　use　by　remaining　in　it　than　by　leaving　it。”

“What　do　you　mean？”

“It　would　be　fruitless　to　attempt　to　explain；　but　there　is　a　point　on　which　I　have　long　endured　painful　doubt；　and　I　can　go　nowhere　till　by　some　means　that　doubt　is　removed。”

“I　know　where　your　heart　turns　and　to　what　it　clings。　The　interest　you　cherish　is　lawless　and　unconsecrated。　Long　since　you　ought　to　have　crushed　it：　now　you　should　blush　to　allude　to　it。　You　think　of　Mr。　Rochester？”

It　was　true。　I　confessed　it　by　silence。

“Are　you　going　to　seek　Mr。　Rochester？”

“I　must　find　out　what　is　bee　of　him。”

“It　remains　for　me；　then；”　he　said；　“to　remember　you　in　my　prayers；　and　to　entreat　God　for　you；　in　all　earnestness；　that　you　may　not　indeed　bee　a　castaway。　I　had　thought　I　recognised　in　you　one　of　the　chosen。　But　God　sees　not　as　man　sees：　His　will　be　done—”

He　opened　the　gate；　passed　through　it；　and　strayed　away　down　the　glen。　He　was　soon　out　of　sight。

On　re…entering　the　parlour；　I　found　Diana　standing　at　the　window；　looking　very　thoughtful。　Diana　was　a　great　deal　taller　than　I：　she　put　her　hand　on　my　shoulder；　and；　stooping；　examined　my　face。

“Jane；”　she　said；　“you　are　always　agitated　and　pale　now。　I　am　sure　there　is　something　the　matter。　Tell　me　what　business　St。　John　and　you　have　on　hands。　I　have　watched　you　this　half　hour　from　the　window；　you　must　forgive　my　being　such　a　spy；　but　for　a　long　time　I　have　fancied　I　hardly　know　what。　St。　John　is　a　strange　being—”

She　paused—I　did　not　speak：　soon　she　resumed—

“That　brother　of　mine　cherishes　p