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第91部分(第1/7 页)

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man judges; but far more wisely。 I did wrong: I would have sullied my innocent flower—breathed guilt on its purity: the Omnipotent snatched it from me。 I; in my stiff…necked rebellion; almost cursed the dispensation: instead of bending to the decree; I defied it。 Divine justice pursued its course; disasters came thick on me: I was forced to pass through the valley of the shadow of death。 His chastisements are mighty; and one smote me which has humbled me for ever。 You know I was proud of my strength: but what is it now; when I must give it over to foreign guidance; as a child does its weakness? Of late; Jane—only—only of late—I began to see and acknowledge the hand of God in my doom。 I began to experience remorse; repentance; the wish for reconcilement to my Maker。 I began sometimes to pray: very brief prayers they were; but very sincere。

“Some days since: nay; I can number them—four; it was last Monday night; a singular mood came over me: one in which grief replaced frenzy—sorrow; sullenness。 I had long had the impression that since I could nowhere find you; you must be dead。 Late that night— perhaps it might be between eleven and twelve o’clock—ere I retired to my dreary rest; I supplicated God; that; if it seemed good to Him; I might soon be taken from this life; and admitted to that world to e; where there was still hope of rejoining Jane。

“I was in my own room; and sitting by the window; which was open: it soothed me to feel the balmy night…air; though I could see no stars and only by a vague; luminous haze; knew the presence of a moon。 I longed for thee; Ja! Oh; I longed for thee both with soul and flesh! I asked of God; at once in anguish and humility; if I had not been long enough desolate; afflicted; tormented; and might not soon taste bliss a

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纵甜我当记者那些年宝珠鬼话番外5-凤求凰少年称王[娱乐圈]少年狂纸婚厚爱1首席的秘密情人
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