第85部分(第1/7 页)

ed　for　labour—not　for　love：　which　is　true；　no　doubt。　But；　in　my　opinion；　if　I　am　not　formed　for　love；　it　follows　that　I　am　not　formed　for　marriage。　Would　it　not　be　strange；　Die；　to　be　chained　for　life　to　a　man　who　regarded　one　but　as　a　useful　tool？”

“Insupportable—unnatural—out　of　the　question！”

“And　then；”　I　continued；　“though　I　have　only　sisterly　affection　for　him　now；　yet；　if　forced　to　be　his　wife；　I　can　imagine　the　possibility　of　conceiving　an　inevitable；　strange；　torturing　kind　of　love　for　him；　because　he　is　so　talented；　and　there　is　often　a　certain　heroic　grandeur　in　his　look；　manner；　and　conversation。　In　that　case；　my　lot　would　bee　unspeakably　wretched。　He　would　not　want　me　to　love　him；　and　if　I　showed　the　feeling；　he　would　make　me　sensible　that　it　was　a　superfluity；　unrequired　by　him；　unbeing　in　me。　I　know　he　would。”

“And　yet　St。　John　is　a　good　man；”　said　Diana。

“He　is　a　good　and　a　great　man；　but　he　forgets；　pitilessly；　the　feelings　and　claims　of　little　people；　in　pursuing　his　own　large　views。　It　is　better；　therefore；　for　the　insignificant　to　keep　out　of　his　way；　lest；　in　his　progress；　he　should　trample　them　down。　Here　he　es！　I　will　leave　you；　Diana。”　And　I　hastened　upstairs　as　I　saw　him　entering　the　garden。

But　I　was　forced　to　meet　him　again　at　supper。　During　that　meal　he　appeared　just　as　posed　as　usual。　I　had　thought　he　would　hardly　speak　to　me；　and　I　was　certain　he　had　given　up　the　pursuit　of　his　matrimonial　scheme：　the　sequel　showed　I　was　mistaken　on　both　points。　He　addressed　me　precisely　in　his　ordinary　manner；　or　what　had；　of　late；　been　his　ordinary　manner—one　scrupulously　polite。　No　doubt　he　had　invoked　the　help　of　the　Holy　Spirit　to　subdue　the　anger　I　had　roused　in　him；　and　now　believed　he　had　forgiven　me　once　more。