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hed lady of rank。’
“Whenever; in future; you should chance to fancy Mr。 Rochester thinks well of you; take out these two pictures and pare them: say; ‘Mr。 Rochester might probably win that noble lady’s love; if he chose to strive for it; is it likely he would waste a serious thought on this indigent and insignificant plebeian?’”
“I’ll do it;” I resolved: and having framed this determination; I grew calm; and fell asleep。
I kept my word。 An hour or two sufficed to sketch my own portrait in crayons; and in less than a fortnight I had pleted an ivory miniature of an imaginary Blanche Ingram。 It looked a lovely face enough; and when pared with the real head in chalk; the contrast was as great as self…control could desire。 I derived benefit from the task: it had kept my head and hands employed; and had given force and fixedness to the new impressions I wished to stamp indelibly on my heart。
Ere long; I had reason to congratulate myself on the course of wholesome discipline to which I had thus forced my feelings to submit。 Thanks to it; I was able to meet subsequent occurrences with a decent calm; which; had they found me unprepared; I should probably have been unequal to maintain; even externally。
Chapter 17
A week passed; and no news arrived of Mr。 Rochester: ten days; and still he did not e。 Mrs。 Fairfax said she should not be surprised if he were to go straight from the Leas to London; and thence to the Continent; and not show his face again at Thornfield for a year to e; he had not unfrequently quitted it in a manner quite as abrupt and unexpected。 When I heard this; I was beginning to feel a strange chill and failing at the heart。 I was actually permitting myself to experience a sickening sense of disappointment; but rallying my
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