第63部分(第3/7 页)

understand　my　case　and　accept　me；　in　spite　of　the　curse　with　which　I　was　burdened。”

“Well；　sir？”

“When　you　are　inquisitive；　Jane；　you　always　make　me　smile。　You　open　your　eyes　like　an　eager　bird；　and　make　every　now　and　then　a　restless　movement；　as　if　answers　in　speech　did　not　flow　fast　enough　for　you；　and　you　wanted　to　read　the　tablet　of　one’s　heart。　But　before　I　go　on；　tell　me　what　you　mean　by　your　‘Well；　sir？’　It　is　a　small　phrase　very　frequent　with　you；　and　which　many　a　time　has　drawn　me　on　and　on　through　interminable　talk：　I　don’t　very　well　know　why。”

“I　mean；—What　next？　How　did　you　proceed？　What　came　of　such　an　event？”

“Precisely！　and　what　do　you　wish　to　know　now？”

“Whether　you　found　any　one　you　liked：　whether　you　asked　her　to　marry　you；　and　what　she　said。”

“I　can　tell　you　whether　I　found　any　one　I　liked；　and　whether　I　asked　her　to　marry　me：　but　what　she　said　is　yet　to　be　recorded　in　the　book　of　Fate。　For　ten　long　years　I　roved　about；　living　first　in　one　capital；　then　another：　sometimes　in　St。　Petersburg；　oftener　in　Paris；　occasionally　in　Rome；　Naples；　and　Florence。　Provided　with　plenty　of　money　and　the　passport　of　an　old　name；　I　could　choose　my　own　society：　no　circles　were　closed　against　me。　I　sought　my　ideal　of　a　woman　amongst　English　ladies；　French　countesses；　Italian　signoras；　and　German　grafinnen。　I　could　not　find　her。　Sometimes；　for　a　fleeting　moment；　I　thought　I　caught　a　glance；　heard　a　tone；　beheld　a　form；　which　announced　the　realisation　of　my　dream：　but　I　was　presently　undeserved。　You　are　not　to　suppose　that　I　desired　perfection；　either　of　mind　or　person。　I　longed　only　for　what　suited　me—for　the　antipodes　of　the　Creole：　and　I　longed　vainly。　Amongst　them　all　I　found　not　one　whom；　had　I　been　ever　so　free；　I—warned　as