第16部分(第3/7 页)

er；　I　only　saw　her　from　the　schoolroom　window；　and　then　not　distinctly；　for　she　was　much　wrapped　up；　and　sat　at　a　distance　under　the　verandah。

One　evening；　in　the　beginning　of　June；　I　had　stayed　out　very　late　with　Mary　Ann　in　the　wood；　we　had；　as　usual；　separated　ourselves　from　the　others；　and　had　wandered　far；　so　far　that　we　lost　our　way；　and　had　to　ask　it　at　a　lonely　cottage；　where　a　man　and　woman　lived；　who　looked　after　a　herd　of　half…wild　swine　that　fed　on　the　mast　in　the　wood。　When　we　got　back；　it　was　after　moonrise：　a　pony；　which　we　knew　to　be　the　surgeon’s；　was　standing　at　the　garden　door。　Mary　Ann　remarked　that　she　supposed　some　one　must　be　very　ill；　as　Mr。　Bates　had　been　sent　for　at　that　time　of　the　evening。　She　went　into　the　house；　I　stayed　behind　a　few　minutes　to　plant　in　my　garden　a　handful　of　roots　I　had　dug　up　in　the　forest；　and　which　I　feared　would　wither　if　I　left　them　till　the　morning。　This　done；　I　lingered　yet　a　little　longer：　the　flowers　smelt　so　sweet　as　the　dew　fell；　it　was　such　a　pleasant　evening；　so　serene；　so　warm；　the　still　glowing　west　promised　so　fairly　another　fine　day　on　the　morrow；　the　moon　rose　with　such　majesty　in　the　grave　east。　I　was　noting　these　things　and　enjoying　them　as　a　child　might；　when　it　entered　my　mind　as　it　had　never　done　before：—

“How　sad　to　be　lying　now　on　a　sick　bed；　and　to　be　in　danger　of　dying！　This　world　is　pleasant—it　would　be　dreary　to　be　called　from　it；　and　to　have　to　go　who　knows　where？”

And　then　my　mind　made　its　first　earnest　effort　to　prehend　what　had　been　infused　into　it　concerning　heaven　and　hell；　and　for　the　first　time　it　recoiled；　baffled；　and　for　the　first　time　glancing　behind；　on　each　side；　and　before　it；　it　saw　all　round　an　unfathomed　gulf：　it　felt　the　one　point　where　it　stood—the　prese