第72部分(第2/7 页)

mployment　which　depends　only　on　me　to　give；　and　you　to　accept。”

He　again　paused：　there　seemed　a　reluctance　to　continue。　I　grew　impatient：　a　restless　movement　or　two；　and　an　eager　and　exacting　glance　fastened　on　his　face；　conveyed　the　feeling　to　him　as　effectually　as　words　could　have　done；　and　with　less　trouble。

“You　need　be　in　no　hurry　to　hear；”　he　said：　“let　me　frankly　tell　you；　I　have　nothing　eligible　or　profitable　to　suggest。　Before　I　explain；　recall；　if　you　please；　my　notice；　clearly　given；　that　if　I　helped　you；　it　must　be　as　the　blind　man　would　help　the　lame。　I　am　poor；　for　I　find　that；　when　I　have　paid　my　father’s　debts；　all　the　patrimony　remaining　to　me　will　be　this　crumbling　grange；　the　row　of　scathed　firs　behind；　and　the　patch　of　moorish　soil；　with　the　yew…　trees　and　holly…bushes　in　front。　I　am　obscure：　Rivers　is　an　old　name；　but　of　the　three　sole　descendants　of　the　race；　two　earn　the　dependant’s　crust　among　strangers；　and　the　third　considers　himself　an　alien　from　his　native　country—not　only　for　life；　but　in　death。　Yes；　and　deems；　and　is　bound　to　deem；　himself　honoured　by　the　lot；　and　aspires　but　after　the　day　when　the　cross　of　separation　from　fleshly　ties　shall　be　laid　on　his　shoulders；　and　when　the　Head　of　that　church…militant　of　whose　humblest　members　he　is　one；　shall　give　the　word；　‘Rise；　follow　Me！’”

St。　John　said　these　words　as　he　pronounced　his　sermons；　with　a　quiet；　deep　voice；　with　an　unflushed　cheek；　and　a　coruscating　radiance　of　glance。　He　resumed—

“And　since　I　am　myself　poor　and　obscure；　I　can　offer　you　but　a　service　of　poverty　and　obscurity。　You　may　even　think　it　degrading—　for　I　see　now　your　habits　have　been　what　the　world　calls　refined：　your　tastes　lean　to　the　ideal；　and　your　society　has　at　least　been　amongst　the　educa