第17部分(第4/7 页)

and　subdued　character。

But　destiny；　in　the　shape　of　the　Rev。　Mr。　Nasmyth；　came　between　me　and　Miss　Temple：　I　saw　her　in　her　travelling　dress　step　into　a　post…chaise；　shortly　after　the　marriage　ceremony；　I　watched　the　chaise　mount　the　hill　and　disappear　beyond　its　brow；　and　then　retired　to　my　own　room；　and　there　spent　in　solitude　the　greatest　part　of　the　half…holiday　granted　in　honour　of　the　occasion。

I　walked　about　the　chamber　most　of　the　time。　I　imagined　myself　only　to　be　regretting　my　loss；　and　thinking　how　to　repair　it；　but　when　my　reflections　were　concluded；　and　I　looked　up　and　found　that　the　afternoon　was　gone；　and　evening　far　advanced；　another　discovery　dawned　on　me；　namely；　that　in　the　interval　I　had　undergone　a　transforming　process；　that　my　mind　had　put　off　all　it　had　borrowed　of　Miss　Temple—or　rather　that　she　had　taken　with　her　the　serene　atmosphere　I　had　been　breathing　in　her　vicinity—and　that　now　I　was　left　in　my　natural　element；　and　beginning　to　feel　the　stirring　of　old　emotions。　It　did　not　seem　as　if　a　prop　were　withdrawn；　but　rather　as　if　a　motive　were　gone：　it　was　not　the　power　to　be　tranquil　which　had　failed　me；　but　the　reason　for　tranquillity　was　no　more。　My　world　had　for　some　years　been　in　Lowood：　my　experience　had　been　of　its　rules　and　systems；　now　I　remembered　that　the　real　world　was　wide；　and　that　a　varied　field　of　hopes　and　fears；　of　sensations　and　excitements；　awaited　those　who　had　courage　to　go　forth　into　its　expanse；　to　seek　real　knowledge　of　life　amidst　its　perils。

I　went　to　my　window；　opened　it；　and　looked　out。　There　were　the　two　wings　of　the　building；　there　was　the　garden；　there　were　the　skirts　of　Lowood；　there　was　the　hilly　horizon。　My　eye　passed　all　other　objects　to　rest　on　those　most　remote；　the　blue　peaks；　it　was　thos