第82部分(第4/7 页)

e　and　excitement　of　sacrifice。　In　the　tractability　with　which；　at　my　wish；　you　forsook　a　study　in　which　you　were　interested；　and　adopted　another　because　it　interested　me；　in　the　untiring　assiduity　with　which　you　have　since　persevered　in　it—in　the　unflagging　energy　and　unshaken　temper　with　which　you　have　met　its　difficulties—I　acknowledge　the　plement　of　the　qualities　I　seek。　Jane；　you　are　docile；　diligent；　disinterested；　faithful；　constant；　and　courageous；　very　gentle；　and　very　heroic：　cease　to　mistrust　yourself—I　can　trust　you　unreservedly。　As　a　conductress　of　Indian　schools；　and　a　helper　amongst　Indian　women；　your　assistance　will　be　to　me　invaluable。”

My　iron　shroud　contracted　round　me；　persuasion　advanced　with　slow　sure　step。　Shut　my　eyes　as　I　would；　these　last　words　of　his　succeeded　in　making　the　way；　which　had　seemed　blocked　up；　paratively　clear。　My　work；　which　had　appeared　so　vague；　so　hopelessly　diffuse；　condensed　itself　as　he　proceeded；　and　assumed　a　definite　form　under　his　shaping　hand。　He　waited　for　an　answer。　I　demanded　a　quarter　of　an　hour　to　think；　before　I　again　hazarded　a　reply。

“Very　willingly；”　he　rejoined；　and　rising；　he　strode　a　little　distance　up　the　pass；　threw　himself　down　on　a　swell　of　heath；　and　there　lay　still。

“I　can　do　what　he　wants　me　to　do：　I　am　forced　to　see　and　acknowledge　that；”　I　meditated；—“that　is；　if　life　be　spared　me。　But　I　feel　mine　is　not　the　existence　to　be　long　protracted　under　an　Indian　sun。　What　then？　He　does　not　care　for　that：　when　my　time　came　to　die；　he　would　resign　me；　in　all　serenity　and　sanctity；　to　the　God　who　gave　me。　The　case　is　very　plain　before　me。　In　leaving　England；　I　should　leave　a　loved　but　empty　land—Mr。　Rochester　is　not　there；　and　if　he　were；　what　is；　what　can　that　ever　be　to　me？　My　business