第73部分(第6/7 页)

；　in　a　measure；　the　power　to　make　our　own　fate；　and　when　our　energies　seem　to　demand　a　sustenance　they　cannot　get—when　our　will　strains　after　a　path　we　may　not　follow—we　need　neither　starve　from　inanition；　nor　stand　still　in　despair：　we　have　but　to　seek　another　nourishment　for　the　mind；　as　strong　as　the　forbidden　food　it　longed　to　taste—and　perhaps　purer；　and　to　hew　out　for　the　adventurous　foot　a　road　as　direct　and　broad　as　the　one　Fortune　has　blocked　up　against　us；　if　rougher　than　it。

“A　year　ago　I　was　myself　intensely　miserable；　because　I　thought　I　had　made　a　mistake　in　entering　the　ministry：　its　uniform　duties　wearied　me　to　death。　I　burnt　for　the　more　active　life　of　the　world—for　the　more　exciting　toils　of　a　literary　career—for　the　destiny　of　an　artist；　author；　orator；　anything　rather　than　that　of　a　priest：　yes；　the　heart　of　a　politician；　of　a　soldier；　of　a　votary　of　glory；　a　lover　of　renown；　a　luster　after　power；　beat　under　my　curate’s　surplice。　I　considered；　my　life　was　so　wretched；　it　must　be　changed；　or　I　must　die。　After　a　season　of　darkness　and　struggling；　light　broke　and　relief　fell：　my　cramped　existence　all　at　once　spread　out　to　a　plain　without　bounds—my　powers　heard　a　call　from　heaven　to　rise；　gather　their　full　strength；　spread　their　wings；　and　mount　beyond　ken。　God　had　an　errand　for　me；　to　bear　which　afar；　to　deliver　it　well；　skill　and　strength；　courage　and　eloquence；　the　best　qualifications　of　soldier；　statesman；　and　orator；　were　all　needed：　for　these　all　centre　in　the　good　missionary。

“A　missionary　I　resolved　to　be。　From　that　moment　my　state　of　mind　changed；　the　fetters　dissolved　and　dropped　from　every　faculty；　leaving　nothing　of　bondage　but　its　galling　soreness—which　time　only　can　heal。　My　father；　indeed；　imposed　the　determination；　but　since