第68部分(第4/7 页)

let　me　speak　to　your　mistresses。”

“No；　not　I。　What　can　they　do　for　you？　You　should　not　be　roving　about　now；　it　looks　very　ill。”

“But　where　shall　I　go　if　you　drive　me　away？　What　shall　I　do？”

“Oh；　I’ll　warrant　you　know　where　to　go　and　what　to　do。　Mind　you　don’t　do　wrong；　that’s　all。　Here　is　a　penny；　now　go—”

“A　penny　cannot　feed　me；　and　I　have　no　strength　to　go　farther。　Don’t　shut　the　door：…　oh；　don’t；　for　God’s　sake！”

“I　must；　the　rain　is　driving　in—”

“Tell　the　young　ladies。　Let　me　see　them…　”

“Indeed；　I　will　not。　You　are　not　what　you　ought　to　be；　or　you　wouldn’t　make　such　a　noise。　Move　off。”

“But　I　must　die　if　I　am　turned　away。”

“Not　you。　I’m　fear’d　you　have　some　ill　plans　agate；　that　bring　you　about　folk’s　houses　at　this　time　o’　night。　If　you’ve　any　followers—housebreakers　or　such　like—anywhere　near；　you　may　tell　them　we　are　not　by　ourselves　in　the　house；　we　have　a　gentleman；　and　dogs；　and　guns。”　Here　the　honest　but　inflexible　servant　clapped　the　door　to　and　bolted　it　within。

This　was　the　climax。　A　pang　of　exquisite　suffering—a　throe　of　true　despair—rent　and　heaved　my　heart。　Worn　out；　indeed；　I　was；　not　another　step　could　I　stir。　I　sank　on　the　wet　doorstep：　I　groaned—　I　wrung　my　hands—I　wept　in　utter　anguish。　Oh；　this　spectre　of　death！　Oh；　this　last　hour；　approaching　in　such　horror！　Alas；　this　isolation—this　banishment　from　my　kind！　Not　only　the　anchor　of　hope；　but　the　footing　of　fortitude　was　gone—at　least　for　a　moment；　but　the　last　I　soon　endeavoured　to　regain。

“I　can　but　die；”　I　said；　“and　I　believe　in　God。　Let　me　try　to　wait　His　will　in　silence。”

These　words　I　not　only　thought；　but　uttered；　and　thrusting　back　all　my　misery　into　my　heart；　I　made　an　effort　to　pel　it　to　remain　there—du