第24部分(第2/7 页)

o　pass　its　threshold　was　to　return　to　stagnation；　to　cross　the　silent　hall；　to　ascend　the　darksome　staircase；　to　seek　my　own　lonely　little　room；　and　then　to　meet　tranquil　Mrs。　Fairfax；　and　spend　the　long　winter　evening　with　her；　and　her　only；　was　to　quell　wholly　the　faint　excitement　wakened　by　my　walk；—to　slip　again　over　my　faculties　the　viewless　fetters　of　an　uniform　and　too　still　existence；　of　an　existence　whose　very　privileges　of　security　and　ease　I　was　being　incapable　of　appreciating。　What　good　it　would　have　done　me　at　that　time　to　have　been　tossed　in　the　storms　of　an　uncertain　struggling　life；　and　to　have　been　taught　by　rough　and　bitter　experience　to　long　for　the　calm　amidst　which　I　now　repined！　Yes；　just　as　much　good　as　it　would　do　a　man　tired　of　sitting　still　in　a　“too　easy　chair”　to　take　a　long　walk：　and　just　as　natural　was　the　wish　to　stir；　under　my　circumstances；　as　it　would　be　under　his。

I　lingered　at　the　gates；　I　lingered　on　the　lawn；　I　paced　backwards　and　forwards　on　the　pavement；　the　shutters　of　the　glass　door　were　closed；　I　could　not　see　into　the　interior；　and　both　my　eyes　and　spirit　seemed　drawn　from　the　gloomy　house—from　the　grey…hollow　filled　with　rayless　cells；　as　it　appeared　to　me—to　that　sky　expanded　before　me；—a　blue　sea　absolved　from　taint　of　cloud；　the　moon　ascending　it　in　solemn　march；　her　orb　seeming　to　look　up　as　she　left　the　hill…tops；　from　behind　which　she　had　e；　far　and　farther　below　her；　and　aspired　to　the　zenith；　midnight　dark　in　its　fathomless　depth　and　measureless　distance；　and　for　those　trembling　stars　that　followed　her　course；　they　made　my　heart　tremble；　my　veins　glow　when　I　viewed　them。　Little　things　recall　us　to　earth；　the　clock　struck　in　the　hall；　that　sufficed；　I　turned　from　moon　and　stars；　opened　a　side…door；　and　went　in。