第76部分(第5/7 页)

　to。　When　I　colour；　and　when　I　shade　before　Miss　Oliver；　I　do　not　pity　myself。　I　scorn　the　weakness。　I　know　it　is　ignoble：　a　mere　fever　of　the　flesh：　not；　I　declare；　the　convulsion　of　the　soul。　That　is　just　as　fixed　as　a　rock；　firm　set　in　the　depths　of　a　restless　sea。　Know　me　to　be　what　I　am—a　cold　hard　man。”

I　smiled　incredulously。

“You　have　taken　my　confidence　by　storm；”　he　continued；　“and　now　it　is　much　at　your　service。　I　am　simply；　in　my　original　state—　stripped　of　that　blood…bleached　robe　with　which　Christianity　covers　human　deformity—a　cold；　hard；　ambitious　man。　Natural　affection　only；　of　all　the　sentiments；　has　permanent　power　over　me。　Reason；　and　not　feeling；　is　my　guide；　my　ambition　is　unlimited：　my　desire　to　rise　higher；　to　do　more　than　others；　insatiable。　I　honour　endurance；　perseverance；　industry；　talent；　because　these　are　the　means　by　which　men　achieve　great　ends　and　mount　to　lofty　eminence。　I　watch　your　career　with　interest；　because　I　consider　you　a　specimen　of　a　diligent；　orderly；　energetic　woman：　not　because　I　deeply　passionate　what　you　have　gone　through；　or　what　you　still　suffer。”

“You　would　describe　yourself　as　a　mere　pagan　philosopher；”　I　said。

“No。　There　is　this　difference　between　me　and　deistic　philosophers：　I　believe；　and　I　believe　the　Gospel。　You　missed　your　epithet。　I　am　not　a　pagan；　but　a　Christian　philosopher—a　follower　of　the　sect　of　Jesus。　As　His　disciple　I　adopt　His　pure；　His　merciful；　His　benignant　doctrines。　I　advocate　them：　I　am　sworn　to　spread　them。　Won　in　youth　to　religion；　she　has　cultivated　my　original　qualities　thus：…　From　the　minute　germ；　natural　affection；　she　has　developed　the　overshadowing　tree；　philanthropy。　From　the　wild　stringy　root　of　human　uprightness；　she　has　reared　a　due　sense　of　the　Divine　just