第65部分(第3/7 页)

。　“Farewell；　my　darling　Adèle！”　I　said；　as　I　glanced　towards　the　nursery。　No　thought　could　be　admitted　of　entering　to　embrace　her。　I　had　to　deceive　a　fine　ear：　for　aught　I　knew　it　might　now　be　listening。

I　would　have　got　past　Mr。　Rochester’s　chamber　without　a　pause；　but　my　heart　momentarily　stopping　its　beat　at　that　threshold；　my　foot　was　forced　to　stop　also。　No　sleep　was　there：　the　inmate　was　walking　restlessly　from　wall　to　wall；　and　again　and　again　he　sighed　while　I　listened。　There　was　a　heaven—a　temporary　heaven—in　this　room　for　me；　if　I　chose：　I　had　but　to　go　in　and　to　say—

“Mr。　Rochester；　I　will　love　you　and　live　with　you　through　life　till　death；”　and　a　fount　of　rapture　would　spring　to　my　lips。　I　thought　of　this。

That　kind　master；　who　could　not　sleep　now；　was　waiting　with　impatience　for　day。　He　would　send　for　me　in　the　morning；　I　should　be　gone。　He　would　have　me　sought　for：　vainly。　He　would　feel　himself　forsaken；　his　love　rejected：　he　would　suffer；　perhaps　grow　desperate。　I　thought　of　this　too。　My　hand　moved　towards　the　lock：　I　caught　it　back；　and　glided　on。

Drearily　I　wound　my　way　downstairs：　I　knew　what　I　had　to　do；　and　I　did　it　mechanically。　I　sought　the　key　of　the　side…door　in　the　kitchen；　I　sought；　too；　a　phial　of　oil　and　a　feather；　I　oiled　the　key　and　the　lock。　I　got　some　water；　I　got　some　bread：　for　perhaps　I　should　have　to　walk　far；　and　my　strength；　sorely　shaken　of　late；　must　not　break　down。　All　this　I　did　without　one　sound。　I　opened　the　door；　passed　out；　shut　it　softly。　Dim　dawn　glimmered　in　the　yard。　The　great　gates　were　closed　and　locked；　but　a　wicket　in　one　of　them　was　only　latched。　Through　that　I　departed：　it；　too；　I　shut；　and　now　I　was　out　of　Thornfield。

A　mile　off；　beyond　the　fields；　lay　a　road　which　stretched　in　t