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第33部分(第3/7 页)

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 wits; and recollecting my principles; I at once called my sensations to order; and it was wonderful how I got over the temporary blunder—how I cleared up the mistake of supposing Mr。 Rochester’s movements a matter in which I had any cause to take a vital interest。 Not that I humbled myself by a slavish notion of inferiority: on the contrary; I just said—

“You have nothing to do with the master of Thornfield; further than to receive the salary he gives you for teaching his protégée; and to be grateful for such respectful and kind treatment as; if you do your duty; you have a right to expect at his hands。 Be sure that is the only tie he seriously acknowledges between you and him; so don’t make him the object of your fine feelings; your raptures; agonies; and so forth。 He is not of your order: keep to your caste; and be too self…respecting to lavish the love of the whole heart; soul; and strength; where such a gift is not wanted and would be despised。”

I went on with my day’s business tranquilly; but ever and anon vague suggestions kept wandering across my brain of reasons why I should quit Thornfield; and I kept involuntarily framing advertisements and pondering conjectures about new situations: these thoughts I did not think check; they might germinate and bear fruit if they could。

Mr。 Rochester had been absent upwards of a fortnight; when the post brought Mrs。 Fairfax a letter。

“It is from the master;” said she; as she looked at the direction。 “Now I suppose we shall know whether we are to expect his return or not。”

And while she broke the seal and perused the document; I went on taking my coffee (we were at breakfast): it was hot; and I attributed to that circumstance a fiery glow which suddenly rose to my face。 Why my hand shook; an

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