第86部分(第4/7 页)

　do　with　him：　you　dare　not　speak　to　him　or　seek　his　presence。　You　have　lost　your　labour—you　had　better　go　no　farther；”　urged　the　monitor。　“Ask　information　of　the　people　at　the　inn；　they　can　give　you　all　you　seek：　they　can　solve　your　doubts　at　once。　Go　up　to　that　man；　and　inquire　if　Mr。　Rochester　be　at　home。”

The　suggestion　was　sensible；　and　yet　I　could　not　force　myself　to　act　on　it。　I　so　dreaded　a　reply　that　would　crush　me　with　despair。　To　prolong　doubt　was　to　prolong　hope。　I　might　yet　once　more　see　the　Hall　under　the　ray　of　her　star。　There　was　the　stile　before　me—the　very　fields　through　which　I　had　hurried；　blind；　deaf；　distracted　with　a　revengeful　fury　tracking　and　scourging　me；　on　the　morning　I　fled　from　Thornfield：　ere　I　well　knew　what　course　I　had　resolved　to　take；　I　was　in　the　midst　of　them。　How　fast　I　walked！　How　I　ran　sometimes！　How　I　looked　forward　to　catch　the　first　view　of　the　well…known　woods！　With　what　feelings　I　weled　single　trees　I　knew；　and　familiar　glimpses　of　meadow　and　hill　between　them！

At　last　the　woods　rose；　the　rookery　clustered　dark；　a　loud　cawing　broke　the　morning　stillness。　Strange　delight　inspired　me：　on　I　hastened。　Another　field　crossed—a　lane　threaded—and　there　were　the　courtyard　walls—the　back　offices：　the　house　itself；　the　rookery　still　hid。　“My　first　view　of　it　shall　be　in　front；”　I　determined；　“where　its　bold　battlements　will　strike　the　eye　nobly　at　once；　and　where　I　can　single　out　my　master’s　very　window：　perhaps　he　will　be　standing　at　it—he　rises　early：　perhaps　he　is　now　walking　in　the　orchard；　or　on　the　pavement　in　front。　Could　I　but　see　him！—but　a　moment！　Surely；　in　that　case；　I　should　not　be　so　mad　as　to　run　to　him？　I　cannot　tell—I　am　not　certain。　And　if　I　did—what　then？　God　bless　him！　What　then？　Who　would　be　hurt　by　m