第83部分(第5/7 页)

o；”　said　he；　“it　is　a　long…cherished　scheme；　and　the　only　one　which　can　secure　my　great　end：　but　I　shall　urge　you　no　further　at　present。　To…morrow；　I　leave　home　for　Cambridge：　I　have　many　friends　there　to　whom　I　should　wish　to　say　farewell。　I　shall　be　absent　a　fortnight—take　that　space　of　time　to　consider　my　offer：　and　do　not　forget　that　if　you　reject　it；　it　is　not　me　you　deny；　but　God。　Through　my　means；　He　opens　to　you　a　noble　career；　as　my　wife　only　can　you　enter　upon　it。　Refuse　to　be　my　wife；　and　you　limit　yourself　for　ever　to　a　track　of　selfish　ease　and　barren　obscurity。　Tremble　lest　in　that　case　you　should　be　numbered　with　those　who　have　denied　the　faith；　and　are　worse　than　infidels！”

He　had　done。　Turning　from　me；　he　once　more

“Looked　to　river；　looked　to　hill。”

But　this　time　his　feelings　were　all　pent　in　his　heart：　I　was　not　worthy　to　hear　them　uttered。　As　I　walked　by　his　side　homeward；　I　read　well　in　his　iron　silence　all　he　felt　towards　me：　the　disappointment　of　an　austere　and　despotic　nature；　which　has　met　resistance　where　it　expected　submission—the　disapprobation　of　a　cool；　inflexible　judgment；　which　has　detected　in　another　feelings　and　views　in　which　it　has　no　power　to　sympathise：　in　short；　as　a　man；　he　would　have　wished　to　coerce　me　into　obedience：　it　was　only　as　a　sincere　Christian　he　bore　so　patiently　with　my　perversity；　and　allowed　so　long　a　space　for　reflection　and　repentance。

That　night；　after　he　had　kissed　his　sisters；　he　thought　proper　to　forget　even　to　shake　hands　with　me；　but　left　the　room　in　silence。　I—who；　though　I　had　no　love；　had　much　friendship　for　him—was　hurt　by　the　marked　omission：　so　much　hurt　that　tears　started　to　my　eyes。

“I　see　you　and　St。　John　have　been　quarrelling；　Jane；”　said　Diana；　“during　your　walk　o