第81部分(第2/7 页)

ed；　he　was　apt　to　forget　the　mencement；　that　it　would　assist　him　greatly　to　have　a　pupil　with　whom　he　might　again　and　again　go　over　the　elements；　and　so　fix　them　thoroughly　in　his　mind；　that　his　choice　had　hovered　for　some　time　between　me　and　his　sisters；　but　that　he　had　fixed　on　me　because　he　saw　I　could　sit　at　a　task　the　longest　of　the　three。　Would　I　do　him　this　favour？　I　should　not；　perhaps；　have　to　make　the　sacrifice　long；　as　it　wanted　now　barely　three　months　to　his　departure。

St。　John　was　not　a　man　to　be　lightly　refused：　you　felt　that　every　impression　made　on　him；　either　for　pain　or　pleasure；　was　deep…graved　and　permanent。　I　consented。　When　Diana　and　Mary　returned；　the　former　found　her　scholar　transferred　from　her　to　her　brother：　she　laughed；　and　both　she　and　Mary　agreed　that　St。　John　should　never　have　persuaded　them　to　such　a　step。　He　answered　quietly—

“I　know　it。”

I　found　him　a　very　patient；　very　forbearing；　and　yet　an　exacting　master：　he　expected　me　to　do　a　great　deal；　and　when　I　fulfilled　his　expectations；　he；　in　his　own　way；　fully　testified　his　approbation。　By　degrees；　he　acquired　a　certain　influence　over　me　that　took　away　my　liberty　of　mind：　his　praise　and　notice　were　more　restraining　than　his　indifference。　I　could　no　longer　talk　or　laugh　freely　when　he　was　by；　because　a　tiresomely　importunate　instinct　reminded　me　that　vivacity　（at　least　in　me）　was　distasteful　to　him。　I　was　so　fully　aware　that　only　serious　moods　and　occupations　were　acceptable；　that　in　his　presence　every　effort　to　sustain　or　follow　any　other　became　vain：　I　fell　under　a　freezing　spell。　When　he　said　“go；”　I　went；　“e；”　I　came；　“do　this；”　I　did　it。　But　I　did　not　love　my　servitude：　I　wished；　many　a　time；　he　had　continued　to　neglect　me。

One　evening　when；　at　bedtime；　his