第63部分(第2/7 页)

of　her　own；　of　which　it　appears　nothing　can　cure　her；　and　which　is　incident　to　her　harassing　profession；　her　vigilance　has　been　more　than　once　lulled　and　baffled。　The　lunatic　is　both　cunning　and　malignant；　she　has　never　failed　to　take　advantage　of　her　guardian’s　temporary　lapses；　once　to　secrete　the　knife　with　which　she　stabbed　her　brother；　and　twice　to　possess　herself　of　the　key　of　her　cell；　and　issue　therefrom　in　the　night…time。　On　the　first　of　these　occasions；　she　perpetrated　the　attempt　to　burn　me　in　my　bed；　on　the　second；　she　paid　that　ghastly　visit　to　you。　I　thank　Providence；　who　watched　over　you；　that　she　then　spent　her　fury　on　your　wedding　apparel；　which　perhaps　brought　back　vague　reminiscences　of　her　own　bridal　days：　but　on　what　might　have　happened；　I　cannot　endure　to　reflect。　When　I　think　of　the　thing　which　flew　at　my　throat　this　morning；　hanging　its　black　and　scarlet　visage　over　the　nest　of　my　dove；　my　blood　curdles

“And　what；　sir；”　I　asked；　while　he　paused；　“did　you　do　when　you　had　settled　her　here？　Where　did　you　go？”

“What　did　I　do；　Jane？　I　transformed　myself　into　a　will…o’…the…wisp。　Where　did　I　go？　I　pursued　wanderings　as　wild　as　those　of　the　March…　spirit。　I　sought　the　Continent；　and　went　devious　through　all　its　lands。　My　fixed　desire　was　to　seek　and　find　a　good　and　intelligent　woman；　whom　I　could　love：　a　contrast　to　the　fury　I　left　at　Thornfield—”

“But　you　could　not　marry；　sir。”

“I　had　determined　and　was　convinced　that　I　could　and　ought。　It　was　not　my　original　intention　to　deceive；　as　I　have　deceived　you。　I　meant　to　tell　my　tale　plainly；　and　make　my　proposals　openly：　and　it　appeared　to　me　so　absolutely　rational　that　I　should　be　considered　free　to　love　and　be　loved；　I　never　doubted　some　woman　might　be　found　willing　and　able　to