第64部分(第3/7 页)

ions　of　his　feelings　only　made　my　work　more　difficult。

“No；　Jane；”　he　returned：　“what　necessity　is　there　to　dwell　on　the　Past；　when　the　Present　is　so　much　surer—the　Future　so　much　brighter？”

I　shuddered　to　hear　the　infatuated　assertion。

“You　see　now　how　the　case　stands—do　you　not？”　he　continued。　“After　a　youth　and　manhood　passed　half　in　unutterable　misery　and　half　in　dreary　solitude；　I　have　for　the　first　time　found　what　I　can　truly　love—I　have　found　you。　You　are　my　sympathy—my　better　self—my　good　angel。　I　am　bound　to　you　with　a　strong　attachment。　I　think　you　good；　gifted；　lovely：　a　fervent；　a　solemn　passion　is　conceived　in　my　heart；　it　leans　to　you；　draws　you　to　my　centre　and　spring　of　life；　wraps　my　existence　about　you；　and；　kindling　in　pure；　powerful　flame；　fuses　you　and　me　in　one。

“It　was　because　I　felt　and　knew　this；　that　I　resolved　to　marry　you。　To　tell　me　that　I　had　already　a　wife　is　empty　mockery：　you　know　now　that　I　had　but　a　hideous　demon。　I　was　wrong　to　attempt　to　deceive　you；　but　I　feared　a　stubbornness　that　exists　in　your　character。　I　feared　early　instilled　prejudice：　I　wanted　to　have　you　safe　before　hazarding　confidences。　This　was　cowardly：　I　should　have　appealed　to　your　nobleness　and　magnanimity　at　first；　as　I　do　now—opened　to　you　plainly　my　life　of　agony—described　to　you　my　hunger　and　thirst　after　a　higher　and　worthier　existence—shown　to　you；　not　my　resolution　（that　word　is　weak）；　but　my　resistless　bent　to　love　faithfully　and　well；　where　I　am　faithfully　and　well　loved　in　return。　Then　I　should　have　asked　you　to　accept　my　pledge　of　fidelity　and　to　give　me　yours。　Jane—give　it　me　now。”

A　pause。

“Why　are　you　silent；　Jane？”

I　was　experiencing　an　ordeal：　a　hand　of　fiery　iron　grasped　my　vitals。　Terrible　moment：　ful